drops of jupiter

its 2 days to school and a part of me tells me im ready and another part of me tells me school is gonna suck. mann. i hate this feeling. no words can describe how sucky this feeling is. it just sucks the life out of you. it is this feeling of emptiness,

lazy

gosh.. i haven blogged in ages. i think there's a phone somewhere in my iphone, typed that in union camp if im not wrong. haha. been very busy lately and couldnt bring myself to blog about stuff. haha. i think rag ppl are amazing. a bunch of happening ppl. haha. too bad there's no space for me. but i feel dam paiseh there also la. still cant really get the basics right. nt enough practice i guess. lol. have to go down to NUS tmr to matriculate. though i dun have any forms AT ALL. jus have to wait till im able to access the forms then. stupid NUS so cock up. ive got so much to blog about but im so dam bloody lazy. lol. i think i will blog them as im on the move or when im feeling bored. there's like clubbing, cheer, rag, UC og outing, and also things with jiaqi has gotten beyond weird. it feels the same as jennifer. DOOSHITE! hai.. but whatever la seriously. i thought she was different. I was wrong. GIRLS ARE ALL THE SAME. sigh. bad bad bad.. mazui mazui mazui!! nvm. i think i will blog about all this stuff some other time. im so freaking busy this whole week. almost out the whole day everyday. i hope nxt week will be much better. haha. and i still have ninhongo no lesson tmr. zzz. i think i should go sleep now. oh i almost forgotten to reply that i want to be in double major. haha. better go do it now.. :)

the 2nd dorky outing!

Yesterday's og outing was quite a successful one. With many ppl turning up. I think there were at least 11-12 ppl?? I think henry is an awesome person. A must have at all outings. Our og suddenly changed into chinese mode yesterday. Mayb cos usha wasnt there. Haha. I love conversing in chinese. I think its more engaging then english. English is a too formal language. Im dam happy that i can converse in both quite perfectly. Alot of ppl said i look and sound ang moh pai. Haha. Its the ac influence la. I think ac boys are steoreotyed as potatoes. But that is true. Haha. Im 1 of the rare ones that can use both to converse.

Henry's OH MY is bloody addictive. Like seriously. Hahaha. But he's a gd chap la. Kinda like my type who jus cracks jokes everytime. Haha. First time mingling with andric too. I think our og needs more ppl like them. Haha. I think i will make a dam awesome ogl though. :)

We had dinner and swensens and sadly no 1 wanted desserts and there goes my craving for apple crumble. Din really manage to talk to jiaqi. She was talking to yinchee most of the time and i guess i was just at the wrong side of the table. Haha. But i had a good talk with henry that joker. Talking cock all the time. Haha.

Then came HTHT. Jiaqi had to say she wants to marry me from shoot shag marry. Zzzzz. Always giving me hope. Fuck. Haha. But i really think we shld jus remain as friends. She says im nice to talk to but she never does initiate any conversations with me face to face. Wtf?? Maybe she's shy or when you like someone you dun actually go up and talk to that person right. I really dunno. Girls are something i try my best to understand but the more you know about them, the less you think you know them. Too paradoxical. I cant wait for union camp to explore more of the forest. Haha.

I shared stuff bout celeste yesterday. Saying how far i got with her. Haha. Mannn i hope that doesnt ruin my image in jiaqi's eyes. But whatever seriously. We're just friends right. I dun give a shit liao. Sian. I kinda wait for her replies. Living a sad an emo life now. UNION CAMP PLS GIVE ME A GD OG. I really hope n pray my og is lively. Where every1 is enthu. Where the girls are hot and chio and engaging
Girls who just stick among girls are zzzzz. As an ac boy, it is my duty to step up and provide life into the OG. hahaha. Im proud to be an ac boy. Cos we are badass, smart, hot and everything good. Hahaha. Call me egoistic but i dun care. Facts are facts. :P

the rant post

my student is quite cmi. i dunno how to teach him at all. he forgets his basics, he doesnt want to practice. he makes careless mistakes like hell. he mixes up simple algebra. he writes down things wrongly all the time. and sometimes it confuses me too. sian. i am really at a loss. i went for tuition today, feeling tired and sleepy and jus sitting there watching him do math. i feel quite bad doing that but i didnt really have anything to do. some of the questions are so simple that i can do them in my head. i must admit some are harder. and doing them at lightning speed causes me to get many careless mistakes too. it was a dam boring lesson today. i think im on the verge of giving up. i hate it when ppl dun put in effort when they know they are weak in something. for me, i gave up in bio cos i knew that i would score well for the rest of my subjects. but his case is totally different. when u are weak in everything, u really have to buck up. sigh. i really hope he doesnt fail his end years and get retained. seriously retaining?!? WTF is the only word to describe that. never in my life had i gotten a warning letter no matter whether i study or not. lucky for me i can get by with minimal studying cos i listen attentively in class. when i listen in class, half the battle is won. all the concepts jus flows into my head and all i need is jus a little touching up. thank God for this skill.

now onto engincamp OG outing. Im quite sick and tired of organising already. some ppl dun reply at all, it feels as though no 1 gives a fuck about it. yea. im really quite pissed about it already. i think this might be the last time im organising it already. whether we meet up again is up to the rest of the guys. seriously. if u all dun wanna meet so be it. im not gonna force any1. im nt even gonna offer my help to organise the next outing. u all can do the work but i promise i will reply. i know how it feels like when u put in so much effort and ppl cant even tell you whether they can make it or not its bloody frustrating. sigh. sucks when u are the only enthu 1 in the OG when the rest dun even care whether u live or die. fuck this. well for now, let's jus hope everything goes well on saturday. im nt having any high expectations anymore. ive given up. i seriously hope my union camp OG will have much better ppl, ppl who actually want to meet up and do stuff together. nt jus hi and bye for 4 days 3 nights kind of ppl. i think my mech engine OG has abit of hope. but things arent looking too good at the moment too. only kaiming me arjun, jing yu and clara are actually engaging in online convos. sigh.

mann. she took a total of 10 hours to reply. well i cant say much. afterall im jus a friend. i am not having any hopes too but really 10 hours? i know she's nice but 10 hours really dun cut it mann. i can even reply during my orientation camp whats going out for the whole day. mayb i guess when u are not interested in some1 that happens no matter how close you are. mayb i work differently, i kinda feel frustrated when some1 doesnt reply. its like u made an effort to talk to them and they dun even care to reply, thats why sometimes i hate always to have to initiate convos. it feels as if u arent wanted. and if u dun actually initiate that person will never talk to u. sad life isnt it. but that is life. but its alright, its time to move on samuel. Time to move on.

gosh this whole blog post is just ranting about stuff that is frustrating me right now. fuck mann seriously. i hate it. haven used so much f-words in a long while. feels good to rant it all out at once to a blog, somewhere where ppl wouldnt read except myself. i have jap class again tmr. and im dam shag from it. 3 HOURS and the lessons are getting so difficult. its dam bloody hard to understand now. moreover vincent wun be there to too. learning alone really sucks. no 1 to talk to. the only time i will be meeting him will be 2 weeks from now cos of union camp. and talking bout that. i will be missing harry potter's premiere due to union camp too. fuck. that's 1 premiere i was hoping they would have and now that it is there i cant go. dammit..

i guess there's enough for ranting today. haven ranted in a long while. it really feels good to get everything off your chest. its like FUCK YEAH!!! and i found a new form of exercise. i din know skipping can get so tiring. its really quite cardio intensive. haha.

and so the cat is out of the bag

haha. and so the truth is out. i think it was kinda expected i guess. spider senses tingling. :P but well its worth a shot at least and to get this bugging feeling off my chest. i was talking to chew the other day and we both agreed there was nothing to lose anyway. she was never mine in the first place. i still think we will be good friends though. but all of that is still too early to say. haha. i think she's obviously not looking for relationships as she said. haha. and i do agree with her. so young and so untender. (jus a random quote from king lear) haha.

but we did have a good 3 and a half hour chat. LOL! i really do think we will make a good couple. we can really click quite well and talk about anything under the sun. haha. but whats yours is yours la. probably the time isn't right or whatever. we jus have to wait and see. oh i got a call from union camp yesterday. imba happy. i think its 1 of the camps that i was looking forward to. dam sadly i didnt get the spot. but actually i got it but just that they didnt call me up. zzzz. meeting new friends again! jus loving it. haha. i love making friends. study partners, chilling partners. talk cock buddy. and finding ppl that click with you is best.

mech engine camp!!

i went for ME camp knowing that their will be very few girls.. what shocked me was that there were only 12-15 girls!! definitely less than 20. haha. its ME so what can u expect. :P

Day 1

My OG is 1 of the OGs without any girls. haha. 8 guys in total. guys and guys tend to bond easily. but i think the army talk was abit overwhelming. but what to do, 2 of the guys extended ORD so they have quite alot to talk about. and i think they joined as a group too. haha. i remembered i mentioned that i was good with names. im happy to say that i tried it and i managed to remember the names of almost every in the OG and also most of them in the house. around 20 names. am i good or what. haha. we played the name game and naturally people keep calling me since i have the easiest name. but pro me is able to call some1 elses name before they can deal enough damage to me. but i still got bruises on my thighs thanks to jing yu's hard hitting. i swear she hits dam bloody hard. haha. the wet games were quite fun, definitely much dirtier than those in engincamp. we were permanently wet and the games were much rougher. haha. prolly suiting the OG which i was in since we were all guys and more sporty ppl! compared to the nerdy MR dorky. HAHA.

moving on, lets skip to mass dance and blind night. mass dance was really really hard. dancing to party rock anthem is not easy. shuffling is freaking freaking hard and needs some skill and natural talent to be able to do that. i personally feel that it isnt 1 of the best songs to be used for mass dance too high of a difficulty for normal folks like me to do. haha. blind night was ok. but it was too long! LOL. being blindfolded for about 3 hours is really too long.. :P and with minimal talking unlike SP things started to get abit boring. but i think the last slide was fun though. haha. quite well thought out.

day 2

pool games and mystery night. pool games were fun. we won almost every game except 1. haha! pro desu ne. the crashers came to tell us how to dunk ppl and how to hunt for jobs to get the camp comm dunked. it was really quite interesting. and there was this station where i had to wear 3 shirts, a pair of jeans, a skirt and a bra. yea unglam max but it was an experience.. :P always wanted to try out how a bra feels like BUT NEVER IN THIS WAY. hahahaha. gosh i think ppl who see my blog would think im some sick freak. hahaha. mystery night was quite fail. nt really very scary. haha. but the effort was there la. haha.

day 3

sentosa is always fun! love the sand and the water. and the dunking of course! haha. i think this camp i was more enthu, leading the cheers more since i know most of them. haha. i think all my campmates are first timers in orientation camp since none of them went for engin camp.

i love camps so much that im going for 4! many many friends to come. haha. union camp and o-week to go! cant wait for those camps to come now.. haha.. fun fun fun and prolly girls girls girls? haha.. despo boy.. :P at least this time i will some ac ppl there now. bloody engineering has no ac ppl. haha. but i was asking around and mech engin doesnt have alot of elite school ppl. most of them from ok schools. nt the imba type like hwa chong or rj. hopefully the stress isnt that high unlike chemical engineering. big fish in a small pond. time to kick some asses with my brain. :)

just stop thinking

haha.. i cant stop thinking. i dunno if its a good or bad thing. but yea i do think too much. dun really like it. life is much simpler when u just dont think. jiaqi was telling me she thinks too much too. hmm. i dunno what happen to her in the past but i guess it must have been some guy kinda screwed up her life. i haven been successful in asking her out. i dunno if she's being hard to get or there simply is nothing going on. LOL. see samuel, thinking too much again. haha. i think i have a gift for reading ppl, just like my mum. i can tell the personality of a person from the subtle things they do. and also what they mean from their small little actions or even in the way of how the reply messages. but the thing with jiaqi is. I CANT READ HER OMG. sometimes she feels dam nice and caring, but sometimes, especially during the day she just seems to reply dam slowly and nt really giving a shit. haha. mann i jus hate it when i cant read ppl. mayb im like twilight'shaha.. i cant stop thinking. i dunno if its a good or bad thing. but yea i do think too much. dun really like it. life is much simpler when u just dont think. jiaqi was telling me she thinks too much too. hmm. i dunno what happen to her in the past but i guess it must have been some guy kinda screwed up her life. i haven been successful in asking her out. i dunno if she's being hard to get or there simply is nothing going on. LOL. see samuel, thinking too much again. haha. i think i have a gift for reading ppl, just like my mum. i can tell the personality of a person from the subtle things they do. and also what they mean from their small little actions or even in the way of how the reply messages. but the thing with jiaqi is. I CANT READ HER OMG. sometimes she feels dam nice and caring, but sometimes, especially during the day she just seems to reply dam slowly and nt really giving a shit. haha. mann i jus hate it when i cant read ppl. mayb im like twilight's edward. sian mayb i shld jus dao and forget about her. it sucks to be the 1 initiating all the time. but easier said than done. nevertheless some things jus HAVE TO BE DONE.

blogger is giving me problems. cant frigging login via firefox. i have no idea whats happening to it too. now im using IE to actually login. sth which i haven used in months. tomorrow is mechanical engineering freshmen camp. dam lazy to pack for it. and i dun have sunblock. cant believe i forgot to buy it yesterday when i was at bukit panjang plaza. mayb i shld take a walk to limbang or yewtee to buy it later. i love taking walks. i think walking provides me with the time for me to really be alone, gives me time to think about what im gonna do, gives me time to reflect about life. lol. sometimes i think im too mature for my age. which isnt good at all.

today was a crap morning. first i forget to turn off my lights b4 i went to sleep, that kinda screwed my sleep for about 2-3 hours. had to wake up at 5 to turn it off. then zhi wei had to call me and ask me if i wanted to go out. i told him 'see first' which is my form of a 'no'.

this post is way overdue thanks to blogger keep screwing up.. zzzz.. im too lazy to continue it. i'll jus post whatever ive typed. :)

my dear brother sam

i have no idea what to name this post. I shall bear with the headache for a while. this post is dedicated to my bro sam wu. We have been friends since p4. that is about 11 years now. and we're still closer than ever. its quite amazing how we still kept in contact even though we are in different schools, leading different lifestyles. Mayb thats the only plus point gaming have ever brought me. haha. but im glad that i have such a friend. Some1 who u can share your sorrow and joy with. haha.

Its quite saddening to learn that my best bro turns out to be gay. but he's really dealing with it quite well, and very open about it. I salute him for doing this since many ppl will shun him once they know he's gay. but the group of friends that we have are totally fine with it. Well, he's having trouble with his parents now. they are finding hard to accept the fact that their son turns out to be gay, all their hopes and dreams of their eldest son carrying on the family line all dashed. all the thoughts that their son would have a happy, complete family all gone. of course it will take some time for them to accept this fact. our society hasnt entirely accept gays yet. though i am totally fine with it. It will probably only change when our parent's generation are gone and thats when society may begin to accept gays. well people make their own choices. they choose their own partners. Sometimes i wonder why Christianity condemns homosexuality. if men was made by God, it is obviously that God made them this way. It isnt really a choice where we have to make ourselves, not like drugs, alcohol or sex where we are able to choose whether we want to do them or not. If i am naturally attracted to people of the same gender, it isnt really my fault since im programmed that way. i didnt have a choice to like girls or guys.

i really do hope things go better for him, he's in a really tough spot right now. at least he has totally accepted the fact that he is gay. but no worries. if there is anything, you can share them with me. Im always here for any1 who needs help, especially close friends!! though you might not see this. this is how i feel in any case that u ever stumble upon it. I hope it cheers u up after reading it. :)

back to the 90s

ive been listening to oldies lately, addicted to boyzone's all that i need and britney spears' lucky. i really miss these kind of songs. with a good set of lyrics accompanied by a melodious tune. i think the 90s really make good wedding and love songs. :) wonder which 1 i will use when i get married. Maybe This I Promise You by N'Sync. haha. I used to have this promise to myself that I will try not to break any promises which i sincerely make. Especially 1 to my girlfriend in future, or my close friends. I think keeping promises are something that reflects your character. It shows that you take responsibility of what you have said. I also used to think that I would never lie to someone I truly love. But through past experiences, sometimes, its always good to tell a white lie when the time arises. It does more good than harm. While listening to Lucky, i realised it describes my ex dam well, its like the whole song reflects her life. but well im over her already. so there isnt anything to talk about. haha.

friday is my next orientation camp, with very few girls sadly. cant expect much from mechanical engineering. but its always good to make new friends. and i love orientation games. XI NIU NAI ftw. haha. Im quite good with names too, give me about 10 minutes and i can match almost every1's names to their faces. haha. but thats if majority of them have christian names. Chinese names are a pain to remember. lol.

oh yes i ran 10km today. YES IM DAM PROUD OF MYSELF though my legs are aching like no tomorrow now. but its all worth it. dunno if i will be able to run tomorrow. haha. sian wanted to go prawning but jiaqi has to have tuition in the morning and afternoon. MISSED THE CHANCE TO ASK HER OUT. awwwwwwww. but ppl who know me know i dun give up. HAHA. i seriously hope she doesnt visit my blog or knows my blog URL. things might change and im scared they would. haha. i really dunno we chatted about quite alot of stuff and some sensitive issues too. but somehow sometimes i feel it sometimes i dont. IM REALLY DAM CONFUSED NOW. lol. wondering what should be my nxt step. cant she jus gimme like a clear signal. LOL. its so dam hazy now. haha. i hate diffusing smoke. though i do throw alot myself. haha. ok this is dam explicit. she will know everything if she visits this place. LOL.

mann ive got a headache now thanks to lilong. asking me to play 1 more sc2 game.. zzzzz.. that was the limit. nonetheless, i still played like a master league terran. (top 2% of players in SEA ok!!!) :) carried the team in most of the games we played. except for the 1 which i got harassed like no tomorrow. haha. 4v4 is really a lame matchup. but well ive played alot lesser nowadays and im happy about it. first step to quitting gaming.

im still wondering if i should go for engin rag dance practice on thursday. i dun even think i can dance well nonetheless dance for engine. aye. depending on my mood i guess. dun really know alot of ppl who are going down as well. might jus give it a go i guess. afterall there's nothing much to do at home. im still waiting for jiaqi to reply me. haha. sian i see myself waiting for her replies. that is obviously a sign that im into her. mayb im jus thinking too much and it was all one-sided all along. lol. mann i hate this feeling. its like you're being left hanging on a thread. but well. love is a bitch. it makes u feel like shit when its not being reciprocated.

sian tomorrow is wednesday. and ive totally got nothing to do. I want to go out with john and weiyang but they are all overseas. dammit. i think they're like my only other group of close friends other than my gay bro SAM and his group of hwachong friends. i dun have many close ac friends sadly. sometimes i hate going out with zhi wei, cheong and that group of ppl. they tend to induce the vulgar side in me. totally becoming a different person, and they are always scanning at girls. i hate it when they jus go CHIO BU CHIO BU and all start staring at glancing around. its very barbaric behavior which makes me feel that they are still childish and not mature yet. mature ppl dun act like this of course. mayb thats why i didnt go meet them at city hall today. firstly i dun really like hanging out with them cos of that reason, secondly i dun really know praveen kumar at all. MANN I NEED PPL TO JIO ME OUT. if nt i will die and rot at home till friday. zzzzz.. hate it when ive got nth planned on the nxt day. its like a whole day wasted doing nothing.

i think i will end my post here. nothing to do now AGAIN. zzz jiaqi still hasnt replied. haha. im so bored that im actually waiting for her to reply. HAHA. and i dun wanna starcraft. and ive got that splitting headache which is killing me.

starcraft 2 no more

haha.. finally tributing a post to 1 of my favourite games. though its like a post which says im gonna play alot lesser. like really alot. finally reached my goal of MASTER LEAGUE. woots top 2% of players in SEA. haha. its almost july and 1 more month to school. its about time to get off the games and back to the books. i guess 3 years of all play no work is more than enough. some part of me cant wait to get back to books. but i think that might change once i enter uni. I REALLY PRAY THAT I HAVE INTEREST IN WHATEVER HITS ME IN SEM 1. if not i think i will die. interest is the only thing that motivates me. it was the same in school and i think it will be the same in uni.

oh yea, jiaqi was telling me about chess camp. haha. she says the guys are shy. haha. EXPECTED. well guys are naturally shy when talking to girls. and i think vice versa too. haha. but i think starting a conversation which some1 of the same sex is dam easy. army, sports, games anything under the sun most guys do the same shit. haha. but the lifestyle of girls are really different, they like shopping, manicure pedicure, make up, talking about guys (guys do talk about girls do and its freaking FREAKING explicit i swear) actually i dun really know what they talk about. haha.

i think i shld start exercising soon. the 5km plus 1km walk that day felt extremely great. though it was at a dam slow pace, but its still good for burning fats by running slowly. haha.. but its 11am on a sunday morning and its too late to go for a run, and there's gonna be dinner tonight which means no running in the evening too.. rawr. im gonna drive all the way to changi airport tonight. haha. i took down my p-plate already but i still haven drove to orchard on my own. SUCKS. i need to familiarise myself with the roads first. haha.. :)

emo nemo

i was reading my old blog, mann I didnt know i was that emo. almost every post was an emo 1. its quite scary really. haha. but thankfully im past that stage. i guess i was really into my ex. thankfully its all over. first love. zzzz. i think any1 who reads my blog will think im some emo freak who's gonna commit suicide any moment. but in actual fact, alot of stuff which i blogged are true, like how the world sucks and everything. but that doesnt mean im not gonna fight it. haha.. well, ive matured 2-3 years already, seen more of the world, known alot more ppl, seen ppl with different types of personality. its time to grow up. 21 years old already!! haha. im quite disgusted with the way i blogged years ago. every word is like typed in short form. ive generally learnt how to type words in full now. its really more reader friendly. and more professional. i cant imagine myself typing 1 whole sentence of short forms anymore.

lost hope

sometimes, i do think i think too much. totally not good. life is so much simpler when u have much lesser to think about seriously. guess i just have to leave it all to fate. I am a firm believer of fate and i think everything that happens in life is based on fate. 'shen si zu ding' is what i believe in. whether we live or die is all up to fate, whether we are successful or not is up to fate. This is because life is unfair, some ppl are jus borned lucky. but of course, there are somethings that you need to do, like study hard cos even fate cant help you if you get lousy results in university, unless u are really 1 hell of a lucky person. sigh. spent my day playing mahjong after tuition. tuition was ok i guess. though my student isnt very good at math. he makes silly mistakes and alot of unnecessary steps. i really fear for him when he goes for his exams this coming october. he really needs loads and loads of math practice. There is so much a teacher can do, the rest is up to the student. If he doesnt wanna help himself, then no one can help him. i almost died when he asked me how to find ln y = 0.03. and a similar thing happened today. i hate indices too, adding powers, multiplication of powers and whatever. i rmbr i suck at it in school but i was still good enough to do the questions, only needing a little more time to solve them. lucky for me, numbers came to me naturally which is why i didnt need alot of practice to be good at math. alot of time to focus on the humanities. now come uni, humanities are now out of the equation, not totally out but majority on the sciences which i have interest in.

mahjong was not bad. 3 winners only 1 loser. haha. won $5 though. im still uber noob at it. but i guess im improving. haha. need to work on new strategies. haha. today is a sat night and im rotting it away at home. emo nemo. haha. i sense alot of weekend nights spent like this in the near future. totally not good. need to have some life and find some friends to go out with. but what to do, school environment has already forced me to have a small circle of friends.

im quite happy that im blogging more often now. *imaginary high five* at least i have something to do when im bored, or something to rant to when im feeling down, something to share to when im feeling happy. or of course to blog some retarded thought if i have something to share. most of them are emo and very mature statements. i guess its literally talking to the computer. i wonder who will ever stumble upon my blog, except my sis who might use my computer.

First OG outing!

i realised i haven blogged about the very first OG outing we had last friday. shall do it now since im in the mood of blogging and nothing to do too. haha. we were supposed to meet at city hall mrt at 6pm but i was late. so marcus had to wait for me and it ended up with both us reaching at 615. sry to jiaqi and usha who had to wait for us. HAHA.. so we had to walk there from city hall and all of us not knowing the way we got a little lost. haha.. trying nt to rely on the iphone maps wasnt such a gd idea as we almost got lost but thanks to jiaqi who spotted the sign timbre we managed to turn back in another direction b4 we really got lost.

and so we reached timbre at about 630, queued for about 5 mins b4 we got a table. lucky for us we were early. 30 min later, the queue was crazily long and we were thankful that we were so much earlier. though we didnt get a gd spot at first, halfway through, we managed to change tables for a better spot. stupid timbre staff said that table was reserved and refused to change for us although the number of reserved tables is the same as the number of tables we had. but in the end, i think the ppl who reserved did not turn up and therefore we got their table!! :) with much better view and all. we had a 5-6 hour long HTHT (heart to heart talk) talking about alot of random stuff. haha. i was the 1 who was coming up with most of the topics, and usha was the 1 who was talking most of the time. mann she is good. she can keep going and going non-stop which was quite amazing. haha. i love asking questions cos this means i dont have to talk much.. :P i love listening to others and their stories, at the same time getting to know more about them. kenneth and jane were awfully quiet though, they look tired cos mayb they were early sleepers and it was bed time for them. I think at the whole table, only me and jiaqi were wide awake as we are used to sleeping at 3-5am. they weren't many instances of awkward silence which was quite surprising considering we only know each other for 4 days. Well, you always need some1 to come up with the topics which i did of course. to prevent these kind of situations. have to always brainstorm new topics to talk about. LOL. jiaqi and usha did help too! but the rest were jus awfully quiet.. zzzz.

the age gap between the guys and the girls wasnt apparent at all. mayb army was jus a 2-year freeze time in which all guys have to go through. in the end our session ended around 1230. haha.. most of us were feeling tired except for me and jiaqi. LOL.. so we all cabbed home and that was it. sadly we couldnt adjourn to somewhere else. Afterall it was already getting late and i think the girls cant go out till the wee hours. it was nice knowing what kind of guys the girls look for, and that girls like mature guys more than childish ones. haha. but i always feel maturity is all in the head and nothing to do with age. girls also look for confident guys, who are able to carry themselves, decisive guys who can make decision without saying anything(something i have to work a little on, i am quite an anything person) haha.. and of course guys who dont smoke. YES I TOTALLY DISLIKE SMOKERS TOO. luckily for me many ppl think the same way. i think smoking is a waste of life and money. i dun think its cool at all. if u wanna harm yourself by smoking by all means. but we passive smokers are suffering like hell too. breathing in all those toxic fumes isnt good at all.

oh another funny thing happened in the cab, the driver asked us why we go home so early, the night is still young. HAHA.. tell him we were tired and got stuff on tmr. then we he said sth like, nevermind, tmr still got time to chiong. HAHA. taxi drivers these days so hip, must be reliving their good ol days when they were young.

I think me and jiaqi click quite well. haha. we have been talking over whatsapp/msn till 4-5am for the past few nights. aye. dam relationships. it is so hard to tell if the other person feel the same way as you do. it really is hard. ive made the mistake b4 and i dun wanna make another 1 YET AGAIN. it really sucks. zzz. i think the only person who i've been rejected by and is now 1 of my best friends is lizhen. she confides in me sometimes with situations with her ex. haha.. although i am not 1 who she meets everyday or talks to everyday, the fact that she comes to me with these kind of sensitive issues is enough for me to deem that i am her best male friend. haha. went for her 21st bday party though i didnt know any1 there at all. im glad to have her as a friend. :)

ok im veering off topic already. the post shall end here. i think my nxt post will be a though about friends, 1 of our MSN conversations with me, my gay bro and my gd friend leslie. haha.

batam

the batam trip was quite an enjoyable 1. though i would most probably not go there again other then to cable ski. it's really quite a boring place, there's nothing much to shop also. the food isnt that great too. most of the stuff there u can find in singapore. most of the time we spent was in the hotel room, where we gambled like addicts.. LOL.. we played poker, blackjack, and in-between.. in between is a sick game. lol.. i was the big winner in the end where i won the $56 dollar pot. :P the whole night i had shit cards. but well it all boils down to having a good hand when it matters. my winnings came out to about $30 in the end. was down $15 earlier in the day so luckily i made up for it. First time playing in between was definitely an experience. the laughter we had at ppl hitting the goalpost was epic. Thinking about it now never fails to bring a smile to my face. it was really unforgettable. hahaha. i will definitely play this game again if i have the chance. Definitely more fun than poker too.

Cable ski was tough like hell. The kneeling board was quite fun though. At least all of us made it 1 round with the kneeling board except for da hui who wasted his whole day there. HAHA. but the standing up 1 was definitely more difficult. all of us were faceplanting into the water. it was hilarious i swear. especially da hui who kept having epic faceplants.. LOL.. by the end of the day, a few us could go at least half a round and some even made it half a round. The last part of the cable ski ended with 1 of my friends asking one of the female strangers who was cable skiing with us for her number. He was hesitant at first but as we were leaving i told him not to regret his decision, it is now or never. He turned back and with balls of steel asked her for her number in front of her friends. :) big balls indeed. LOL. i hope it turns out well for them. haha.

Yea that it is about it for the batam trip. There isnt really much to blog about cos we din really do anything besides gamble and cable ski. and for your information I AM NOT A GAMBLING ADDICT. :P

what are words

This is an awesome song, and it is the first song which has its lyrics posted on my blog. Here goes.

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

And I know an angel was sent just for me
And I know I'm meant to be where I am
And I'm gonna be
Standing right beside her tonight
And I'm gonna be by your side
I would never leave when she needs me most

What are words
If you really don't mean them
When you say them
What are words
If they're only for good times
Then they don't
When it's love
Yeah, you say them out loud
Those words, They never go away
They live on, even when we're gone

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
And I'm gonna be here forever more
Every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

I'm forever keeping my angel close

To me, lyrics play a very HUGE role in a song. I think the kind of songs you listen to also reflects your personality. I'm the more down to earth guy i guess. haha. though i do listen to hip hop or songs with catchy tunes. but i love this genre. if you haven heard this song, go youtube it. you wun regret it.

Life

the cliche question. What is life? Life is filled with many surprises and uncertainties that the only thing we can be sure of is that nothing is for sure. What we have today does not mean that we would have tomorrow. Life is unfair. Yes i repeat, life is unfair. for people who believe that life is fair, let me tell you this. It is not. Some people just have their lives laid out for them, everything going smoothly, without them needing to be worrying about anything. Some people miraculously get what they want, while others who are more deserving have to slog their hearts out only to know that they got rejected.

Something happened today which makes me believe that life is fragile, we never know what happens tomorrow. We should learn how to cherish what we have now, rather than complaining about what we don't have. It's human nature to try to put the blame on others rather than on ourselves. Fighting for what we want and whether we get what we really want is all our personal responsibility. No 1 is going to pity you if you are a failure and not because you tried and failed, but because you refuse to try hard enough and putting the blame on others.

For someone who hasn't yet reached 21, the age where we are considered as adults, I believe that some of my peers dun really put much thought into all these matters. I think upbringing is very important, I am lucky to have a family who takes care of me, and teach me all the social values that many parents do not give their child. Im not afraid to say that I love my parents cause I really do. For those out there who are having problems with your parents, all I can say is, most parents want the best for their children, (i cant say all parents cause i know some parents only care for themselves, and i am not lying about this) you might not see it now. But eventually as we get older we begin to see that what they have done despite us not agreeing with them is all for our own good. I won't be where I am today if not for my mum who keeps pestering me to study hard. I think i would have flunked my exams and that is for sure.

To be honest, I'm not very lucky when it comes to relationships. My very first girlfriend was quite a mistake, i was more of a rebound th in an an actual boyfriend. But nevertheless, it had thought me how to treat girls well, how they think (yes girls are still unpredictable), and what they expect from their boyfriends. The girls whom i like never seem to reciprocate and I always ask myself. I'm so many times better than him why not me. But in time, I realised that love is blind. It doesnt matter if you are fat, ugly, dumb, playboy, smart, handsome or cute, love has a way for the other party to ignore those traits of ours. I believe in order for a relationship to work, both parties have to like what they see in each other, in other words, a match in personality. I'm a person who looks for long-term relationships. I never believed in short term relationships or flings as I believe in order to really love someone, you have to imagine being with her for the rest of your life. I am not sure when i'm going to meet my future wife. I really wonder what she will turn out to be. It's been a long while since i did a post like this. It really does feel good to pen your thoughts down and able to come back to read them all over again as years go by.

p.s: sorry for the random thoughts on life. It's nt very organised because i tend to type whatever that comes to my mind without much structure.

super 8/ green lantern

2 movies in a day.. i sure am a movie junkie.. watching 2 movies in a day sure is tiring but green lantern was not bad. i wouldnt say its perfect but like any other superhero movie, the first installment doesn't always have alot of action. but the movie is DEFINITELY worth watching.. for guys who love gossip girl, or for the matter of fact BLAKE LIVELY. yes i do like both but gossip girl is getting boring. pls go watch the show. blake lively is hot at any angle u see her! but the portrayal of the antagonist in the movie kinda sucks.. not enough character development for him. he became evil for like 30 min and he fought green lantern for 5 min and after that died cos his master killed him. quite retarded i must say.

now on to super 8, gosh, in my opinion, i din really like it. not a movie that i would pay for, prolly jus worth downloading. though it has producers like JJ Abrams and Steven Spielberg, that kind of movie is more like what 1 would watch and after that write an literature essay on it. there are so many underlying themes in the movie, the parallel portrayal between both Joe and his father and Alison and her dad. And also the portrayal of the alien who is just like a child who wants to go back to his home planet, but starts getting angry, throwing tantrums by killing ppl and destroying stuff when he is unable to get back. the symbolism of the locket especially at the last part where he lets go of it, which means he is able to let go of the death of his mom and move on, just like how the alien moves on and goes back to his home planet. I think the usage of kids in the movie also plays a very huge role, how the kids actually grow up through the movie, the development of the characters are really quite good, Joe and Alison first exposure to love. The random stuff which they say still reminds the audience they are still kids with immature thinking. I think allowing the kids to drive is quite hilarious, especially when Joe gets his hand on the wheel, further portraying his coming of age. Also at the start of the movie, the kids are presented with a train wreck, a life and death decision which marks the start of them maturing throughout the movie. GOSH IM WRITING A MINI LITERARY RESPONSE TO THIS MOVIE. WTF! HAHA. but this movie really invokes alot of feelings in the audience, especially when u have been exposed to literature b4. Unfortunately, not many ppl are able to appreciate it. Most ppl dun wanna think when watching the movie, they go for the effects and a simple story line. But this movie doesn't give the audience that. At first i thought the movie was quite boring and crappy. but as it continues, the character development kinda make me feel that it is an OK movie, not 1 that i would watch normally of course. haha.. i was thinking of writing more responses but better not. LOL.. i think whoever who stumbles upon my blog would get bored of reading all these crap.. :P

anyway, it is OG outing tmr! im looking forward to it as these are friends that i hope i remain in contact with. haha. its really hard to keep a circle of friends. im getting scared of going back to uni though. im nt sure if i will get used to the mugging we have to do. though its mostly math and physics, both of which i LOVE and i think i am borned to do. its like a calling since pri sch where i was mathematically inclined. top in math in pri sch FTW k.. hahaha.. :P i seriously dunno how i did it. numbers jus came naturally to me. mayb im jus a very logical person. hehh. i think its time to take out the books.. GIANCOLI( physics) here i come!

back from the ashes

IM BACK.. wow.. haven blogged in AGES.. ever since my PSP was filled with tons and tons of tv serials, din really have the time to blog. well im finally out of citibank. now preparing for school. looking back, i didnt really achieve much the past few months.. HAHA.. been slacking time away.. hadn't really gotten down to exercising too.. sigh.. procrastination has always got the better of me and it hasnt changed 1 bit.. to sum up what i did for my stint at citibank, i have watched till date, 2 seasons of vampire diaries, 3 seasons of fringe, 5 seasons of big bang theory, 2 seasons of glee, 1 season of modern family, finished up season 6 of how i met your mother. 1.5 seasons of gossip girl. YES I KNOW THAT IS A TON OF SHOWS! to be honest, i didnt learn anything at citibank at all.. haha.. the work was more or less monotonous, the people there were nice though, and during the election period, we had some very interesting discussions about politics. quite a fun bunch of ppl there but sadly my department is gonna be disbanded. I guess im nt suited to be a debt collector after all, (im not fierce enough).

now onto engin camp! it was an unforgettable experience I must say, i really love mixing around with ppl. those of the same age group of course. making new friends are always on the top of my to-do list.. haha. im very very sociable, i can click with almost any kind of ppl with all different kind of personalities, just talk cock mann.. smoke through some random topics maybe.. haha.. its really good to know abit of everything so u are able to talk to ppl. sports, music, life, tv shows movies, anything under the sun that u can think of. well i hope our OG remains bonded even after engin camp, which is why i have volunteered to organise our very first OG outing! quite disappointed that i didnt get a spot in union camp. i think its gonna be a blast.. :( sigh school is starting soon. no more time for slacking, no more time for zoning out, everyday would be jus mug mug mug.. sad life of engineers. but engineering is really my thing i guess. i work and think like 1.. haha..

ok lets have an example, i was looking at the microwave some months ago. and i was thinking, if we can make stuff hot, why cant we make stuff cold? i went to google, wiki research and found out that it was close to impossible to actually make things cold.. haha.. microwave ovens work via radiation, ( sry i cant really recall how it actually works this is just an assumption.) most probably exciting the molecules making the food/liquid hot. and different materials heats up at different rates, molecular structure most probably, this is why you dont put metals into the microwave and your microwavable plates dun get hot although the food gets hot. making stuff cold requires too much energy to actually reduce the movements of the molecules in solids which is why it is not feasible for everyday usage. yes i know this is something very GEEKY. and only for ppl who thinks like me, engineers to be!!! yea i was so bored once that i made a birthday cake WITH CANDLES using my graphic calculator.. YES WTF RIGHT but i did it.. quite an accomplishment, the equations are fairly simple la.. if any of u want to see it u all can jus ask. but its quite troublesome as u must play around with the tables, stat plots, window. THIS is only for graphic calculator freaks with too much time to waste.. hahaha..

its been a while since i typed so much.. but im using a mechanical keyboard now!! this is my real first try at typing alot of stuff with it and it feels great.. haha.. if u guys want to know what a mechanical keyboard is u all can go google. but i definitely recommend it for any1 who loves typing or has to do alot of typing at work. its quite pricey but definitely a good buy! i think i can never go back to rubber dome keyboards, those which u use in everyday life. the cheap keyboards.. haha.. ok i shall not explain how the mech keyboard works if nt my post will be very very long.. haha.. ok i think its time for me to stop here.. will try to continue blogging as much as possible, afterall ive got so much time to kill.

lol.. chatted with 1 of my OG mates till 4 am last night. we started at 2am. LOL.. i must say it was quite fun talking to her. had quite alot of common topics. (SURPRISING!) haha.. she's got alot of weird antics like enduring the whole day with only 4-5 hours of sleep, SHE WAS GONNA RUN IN THE MORNING AFTER SLEEPING AT 4AM! but for me, i slept like a pig till 12nn.. HAHA. hope to catch up with her more in the coming days.. she's in chem engin while im in mech engine.. up till now im still not made up whether i should remain in mech or change to chem, on an elitist note, ( no offence to any1 :P) i believe that chem engin students are alot smarter then those in mech, judging from the results needed to get in. i see alot of ppl getting rejected for chem and ended up in mech. mayb it was a mistake putting mech first. haha.. but time will tell and i believe that i have what it takes to switch to chem anytime. imba self-confidence. HAHA. :)

taylor swift is still playing in the background even after months of taylor swift craze.. :P hasnt ended apparently.. haha.

nervous

gosh.. nervousness.. tmr is my interview already.. ive been to so many but i have no idea why im having this feeling for tommorrow's. mayb i haven been to an interview for too long a time. doing my final prep now. preparing how to answer those common questions which interviewers would throw at us. and of course. be mentally prepared for the not so common questions which would obviously come. for some reason, i think engineering is my thing. I know i have the stuff for engineering. I even think like an engineer. Today while i was microwaving my cup of tea, it suddenly occured to me on why we can heat things up with a microwave oven. How about cooling things down, like a reverse microwave. It is this curious mind of mine which leads me to think that engineering is the way to go for me.

Taylor Swift LIVE!

yes.. it is taylor swift on my blog yet again. Words just can't describe how awesome she is. She din say much for the night but i loved it when she said that there are some lessons that we are always learning, and even as we grow older, we still continue to learn these lessons. and up till now we are still learning. taylor herself said that all her songs are about love and heartbreak, love and heartbreak, love and heartbreak. those were her exacts words and im nt kidding. maybe this is a reason why i love her so much. cos the songs she writes are applicable to each and every1 of us cos heartbreak just feels the same no matter where we're from or what language we speak.

ok now to her performance, she started the night with Sparks Fly. It was a great song which kinda set the stage. I must say I felt that the energy was great, the crowd was just going wild and the atmosphere was nothing but awesome. every1 was singing along to her songs including me. but at some points you cant really hear her cos the band was so loud and so was the crowd that her voice was just drained out. But she did really sound the same as she is in her album.

The night was more towards the pop and songs which had more beat. compared to the slower tempo songs which she didnt really much sing. the acoustic version of fearless was not bad, combined with a bit of I'm Yours. Dear John was 1 of the slower ones which she sang, besides Back To December which she had to sing cause it was simply 1 of her best singles. and as usual, back to december was mixed with apologise but ended with you're not sorry. quite unexpected but it was a good mix nonetheless. She did touch on songs from her Fearless album like Fifteen, Fearless, You Belong With Me and of course the song which brought her to fame, Love Story. I kinda knew the time where every1 thought the concert ended that there was still Love Story which hasnt been sung. Taylor Swift cant leave without singing Love Story mann and true enough, that was her grand finale and she ended off by literally falling off the stage. Unfortunately, there were no songs from her first album. was looking forward to Our Song but it didnt come.

and to come to think of it, her outfits were exactly how she portrays herself, the shimmering gold dress and the last one was the dazzling silver 1 with her sparkling guitar. she did come down the stage once and walked through the crowd, a pity that I wasn't in that section if not I could have seen her upclose and how pretty she actually is. though i was sitting alone, the performance was so awesome that i could get high myself, without any influence from alcohol. singing along, cheering and clapping to her songs were definitely an experience for me. I was glad that i didn't give up my ticket even though I knew that i would be going alone. I'm too big a fan to give up a live performance by taylor swift. I would definitely be there again if she comes to Singapore again. and to those who thinks that her live singing sucks, this performance definitely was up to standard. Everything was awesome (sorry I cant find any other adjectives cos AWESOME is the best adjective to use) except for the fact that I was alone.

It was worth every cent going for it. and lucky i didnt thought of saving money. Taylor Swift will definitely be playing on my Ipod for the weeks to come.