i have no idea what to name this post. I shall bear with the headache for a while. this post is dedicated to my bro sam wu. We have been friends since p4. that is about 11 years now. and we're still closer than ever. its quite amazing how we still kept in contact even though we are in different schools, leading different lifestyles. Mayb thats the only plus point gaming have ever brought me. haha. but im glad that i have such a friend. Some1 who u can share your sorrow and joy with. haha.
Its quite saddening to learn that my best bro turns out to be gay. but he's really dealing with it quite well, and very open about it. I salute him for doing this since many ppl will shun him once they know he's gay. but the group of friends that we have are totally fine with it. Well, he's having trouble with his parents now. they are finding hard to accept the fact that their son turns out to be gay, all their hopes and dreams of their eldest son carrying on the family line all dashed. all the thoughts that their son would have a happy, complete family all gone. of course it will take some time for them to accept this fact. our society hasnt entirely accept gays yet. though i am totally fine with it. It will probably only change when our parent's generation are gone and thats when society may begin to accept gays. well people make their own choices. they choose their own partners. Sometimes i wonder why Christianity condemns homosexuality. if men was made by God, it is obviously that God made them this way. It isnt really a choice where we have to make ourselves, not like drugs, alcohol or sex where we are able to choose whether we want to do them or not. If i am naturally attracted to people of the same gender, it isnt really my fault since im programmed that way. i didnt have a choice to like girls or guys.
i really do hope things go better for him, he's in a really tough spot right now. at least he has totally accepted the fact that he is gay. but no worries. if there is anything, you can share them with me. Im always here for any1 who needs help, especially close friends!! though you might not see this. this is how i feel in any case that u ever stumble upon it. I hope it cheers u up after reading it. :)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
back to the 90s
ive been listening to oldies lately, addicted to boyzone's all that i need and britney spears' lucky. i really miss these kind of songs. with a good set of lyrics accompanied by a melodious tune. i think the 90s really make good wedding and love songs. :) wonder which 1 i will use when i get married. Maybe This I Promise You by N'Sync. haha. I used to have this promise to myself that I will try not to break any promises which i sincerely make. Especially 1 to my girlfriend in future, or my close friends. I think keeping promises are something that reflects your character. It shows that you take responsibility of what you have said. I also used to think that I would never lie to someone I truly love. But through past experiences, sometimes, its always good to tell a white lie when the time arises. It does more good than harm. While listening to Lucky, i realised it describes my ex dam well, its like the whole song reflects her life. but well im over her already. so there isnt anything to talk about. haha.
friday is my next orientation camp, with very few girls sadly. cant expect much from mechanical engineering. but its always good to make new friends. and i love orientation games. XI NIU NAI ftw. haha. Im quite good with names too, give me about 10 minutes and i can match almost every1's names to their faces. haha. but thats if majority of them have christian names. Chinese names are a pain to remember. lol.
oh yes i ran 10km today. YES IM DAM PROUD OF MYSELF though my legs are aching like no tomorrow now. but its all worth it. dunno if i will be able to run tomorrow. haha. sian wanted to go prawning but jiaqi has to have tuition in the morning and afternoon. MISSED THE CHANCE TO ASK HER OUT. awwwwwwww. but ppl who know me know i dun give up. HAHA. i seriously hope she doesnt visit my blog or knows my blog URL. things might change and im scared they would. haha. i really dunno we chatted about quite alot of stuff and some sensitive issues too. but somehow sometimes i feel it sometimes i dont. IM REALLY DAM CONFUSED NOW. lol. wondering what should be my nxt step. cant she jus gimme like a clear signal. LOL. its so dam hazy now. haha. i hate diffusing smoke. though i do throw alot myself. haha. ok this is dam explicit. she will know everything if she visits this place. LOL.
mann ive got a headache now thanks to lilong. asking me to play 1 more sc2 game.. zzzzz.. that was the limit. nonetheless, i still played like a master league terran. (top 2% of players in SEA ok!!!) :) carried the team in most of the games we played. except for the 1 which i got harassed like no tomorrow. haha. 4v4 is really a lame matchup. but well ive played alot lesser nowadays and im happy about it. first step to quitting gaming.
im still wondering if i should go for engin rag dance practice on thursday. i dun even think i can dance well nonetheless dance for engine. aye. depending on my mood i guess. dun really know alot of ppl who are going down as well. might jus give it a go i guess. afterall there's nothing much to do at home. im still waiting for jiaqi to reply me. haha. sian i see myself waiting for her replies. that is obviously a sign that im into her. mayb im jus thinking too much and it was all one-sided all along. lol. mann i hate this feeling. its like you're being left hanging on a thread. but well. love is a bitch. it makes u feel like shit when its not being reciprocated.
sian tomorrow is wednesday. and ive totally got nothing to do. I want to go out with john and weiyang but they are all overseas. dammit. i think they're like my only other group of close friends other than my gay bro SAM and his group of hwachong friends. i dun have many close ac friends sadly. sometimes i hate going out with zhi wei, cheong and that group of ppl. they tend to induce the vulgar side in me. totally becoming a different person, and they are always scanning at girls. i hate it when they jus go CHIO BU CHIO BU and all start staring at glancing around. its very barbaric behavior which makes me feel that they are still childish and not mature yet. mature ppl dun act like this of course. mayb thats why i didnt go meet them at city hall today. firstly i dun really like hanging out with them cos of that reason, secondly i dun really know praveen kumar at all. MANN I NEED PPL TO JIO ME OUT. if nt i will die and rot at home till friday. zzzzz.. hate it when ive got nth planned on the nxt day. its like a whole day wasted doing nothing.
i think i will end my post here. nothing to do now AGAIN. zzz jiaqi still hasnt replied. haha. im so bored that im actually waiting for her to reply. HAHA. and i dun wanna starcraft. and ive got that splitting headache which is killing me.
friday is my next orientation camp, with very few girls sadly. cant expect much from mechanical engineering. but its always good to make new friends. and i love orientation games. XI NIU NAI ftw. haha. Im quite good with names too, give me about 10 minutes and i can match almost every1's names to their faces. haha. but thats if majority of them have christian names. Chinese names are a pain to remember. lol.
oh yes i ran 10km today. YES IM DAM PROUD OF MYSELF though my legs are aching like no tomorrow now. but its all worth it. dunno if i will be able to run tomorrow. haha. sian wanted to go prawning but jiaqi has to have tuition in the morning and afternoon. MISSED THE CHANCE TO ASK HER OUT. awwwwwwww. but ppl who know me know i dun give up. HAHA. i seriously hope she doesnt visit my blog or knows my blog URL. things might change and im scared they would. haha. i really dunno we chatted about quite alot of stuff and some sensitive issues too. but somehow sometimes i feel it sometimes i dont. IM REALLY DAM CONFUSED NOW. lol. wondering what should be my nxt step. cant she jus gimme like a clear signal. LOL. its so dam hazy now. haha. i hate diffusing smoke. though i do throw alot myself. haha. ok this is dam explicit. she will know everything if she visits this place. LOL.
mann ive got a headache now thanks to lilong. asking me to play 1 more sc2 game.. zzzzz.. that was the limit. nonetheless, i still played like a master league terran. (top 2% of players in SEA ok!!!) :) carried the team in most of the games we played. except for the 1 which i got harassed like no tomorrow. haha. 4v4 is really a lame matchup. but well ive played alot lesser nowadays and im happy about it. first step to quitting gaming.
im still wondering if i should go for engin rag dance practice on thursday. i dun even think i can dance well nonetheless dance for engine. aye. depending on my mood i guess. dun really know alot of ppl who are going down as well. might jus give it a go i guess. afterall there's nothing much to do at home. im still waiting for jiaqi to reply me. haha. sian i see myself waiting for her replies. that is obviously a sign that im into her. mayb im jus thinking too much and it was all one-sided all along. lol. mann i hate this feeling. its like you're being left hanging on a thread. but well. love is a bitch. it makes u feel like shit when its not being reciprocated.
sian tomorrow is wednesday. and ive totally got nothing to do. I want to go out with john and weiyang but they are all overseas. dammit. i think they're like my only other group of close friends other than my gay bro SAM and his group of hwachong friends. i dun have many close ac friends sadly. sometimes i hate going out with zhi wei, cheong and that group of ppl. they tend to induce the vulgar side in me. totally becoming a different person, and they are always scanning at girls. i hate it when they jus go CHIO BU CHIO BU and all start staring at glancing around. its very barbaric behavior which makes me feel that they are still childish and not mature yet. mature ppl dun act like this of course. mayb thats why i didnt go meet them at city hall today. firstly i dun really like hanging out with them cos of that reason, secondly i dun really know praveen kumar at all. MANN I NEED PPL TO JIO ME OUT. if nt i will die and rot at home till friday. zzzzz.. hate it when ive got nth planned on the nxt day. its like a whole day wasted doing nothing.
i think i will end my post here. nothing to do now AGAIN. zzz jiaqi still hasnt replied. haha. im so bored that im actually waiting for her to reply. HAHA. and i dun wanna starcraft. and ive got that splitting headache which is killing me.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
starcraft 2 no more
haha.. finally tributing a post to 1 of my favourite games. though its like a post which says im gonna play alot lesser. like really alot. finally reached my goal of MASTER LEAGUE. woots top 2% of players in SEA. haha. its almost july and 1 more month to school. its about time to get off the games and back to the books. i guess 3 years of all play no work is more than enough. some part of me cant wait to get back to books. but i think that might change once i enter uni. I REALLY PRAY THAT I HAVE INTEREST IN WHATEVER HITS ME IN SEM 1. if not i think i will die. interest is the only thing that motivates me. it was the same in school and i think it will be the same in uni.
oh yea, jiaqi was telling me about chess camp. haha. she says the guys are shy. haha. EXPECTED. well guys are naturally shy when talking to girls. and i think vice versa too. haha. but i think starting a conversation which some1 of the same sex is dam easy. army, sports, games anything under the sun most guys do the same shit. haha. but the lifestyle of girls are really different, they like shopping, manicure pedicure, make up, talking about guys (guys do talk about girls do and its freaking FREAKING explicit i swear) actually i dun really know what they talk about. haha.
i think i shld start exercising soon. the 5km plus 1km walk that day felt extremely great. though it was at a dam slow pace, but its still good for burning fats by running slowly. haha.. but its 11am on a sunday morning and its too late to go for a run, and there's gonna be dinner tonight which means no running in the evening too.. rawr. im gonna drive all the way to changi airport tonight. haha. i took down my p-plate already but i still haven drove to orchard on my own. SUCKS. i need to familiarise myself with the roads first. haha.. :)
oh yea, jiaqi was telling me about chess camp. haha. she says the guys are shy. haha. EXPECTED. well guys are naturally shy when talking to girls. and i think vice versa too. haha. but i think starting a conversation which some1 of the same sex is dam easy. army, sports, games anything under the sun most guys do the same shit. haha. but the lifestyle of girls are really different, they like shopping, manicure pedicure, make up, talking about guys (guys do talk about girls do and its freaking FREAKING explicit i swear) actually i dun really know what they talk about. haha.
i think i shld start exercising soon. the 5km plus 1km walk that day felt extremely great. though it was at a dam slow pace, but its still good for burning fats by running slowly. haha.. but its 11am on a sunday morning and its too late to go for a run, and there's gonna be dinner tonight which means no running in the evening too.. rawr. im gonna drive all the way to changi airport tonight. haha. i took down my p-plate already but i still haven drove to orchard on my own. SUCKS. i need to familiarise myself with the roads first. haha.. :)
Saturday, June 25, 2011
emo nemo
i was reading my old blog, mann I didnt know i was that emo. almost every post was an emo 1. its quite scary really. haha. but thankfully im past that stage. i guess i was really into my ex. thankfully its all over. first love. zzzz. i think any1 who reads my blog will think im some emo freak who's gonna commit suicide any moment. but in actual fact, alot of stuff which i blogged are true, like how the world sucks and everything. but that doesnt mean im not gonna fight it. haha.. well, ive matured 2-3 years already, seen more of the world, known alot more ppl, seen ppl with different types of personality. its time to grow up. 21 years old already!! haha. im quite disgusted with the way i blogged years ago. every word is like typed in short form. ive generally learnt how to type words in full now. its really more reader friendly. and more professional. i cant imagine myself typing 1 whole sentence of short forms anymore.
lost hope
sometimes, i do think i think too much. totally not good. life is so much simpler when u have much lesser to think about seriously. guess i just have to leave it all to fate. I am a firm believer of fate and i think everything that happens in life is based on fate. 'shen si zu ding' is what i believe in. whether we live or die is all up to fate, whether we are successful or not is up to fate. This is because life is unfair, some ppl are jus borned lucky. but of course, there are somethings that you need to do, like study hard cos even fate cant help you if you get lousy results in university, unless u are really 1 hell of a lucky person. sigh. spent my day playing mahjong after tuition. tuition was ok i guess. though my student isnt very good at math. he makes silly mistakes and alot of unnecessary steps. i really fear for him when he goes for his exams this coming october. he really needs loads and loads of math practice. There is so much a teacher can do, the rest is up to the student. If he doesnt wanna help himself, then no one can help him. i almost died when he asked me how to find ln y = 0.03. and a similar thing happened today. i hate indices too, adding powers, multiplication of powers and whatever. i rmbr i suck at it in school but i was still good enough to do the questions, only needing a little more time to solve them. lucky for me, numbers came to me naturally which is why i didnt need alot of practice to be good at math. alot of time to focus on the humanities. now come uni, humanities are now out of the equation, not totally out but majority on the sciences which i have interest in.
mahjong was not bad. 3 winners only 1 loser. haha. won $5 though. im still uber noob at it. but i guess im improving. haha. need to work on new strategies. haha. today is a sat night and im rotting it away at home. emo nemo. haha. i sense alot of weekend nights spent like this in the near future. totally not good. need to have some life and find some friends to go out with. but what to do, school environment has already forced me to have a small circle of friends.
im quite happy that im blogging more often now. *imaginary high five* at least i have something to do when im bored, or something to rant to when im feeling down, something to share to when im feeling happy. or of course to blog some retarded thought if i have something to share. most of them are emo and very mature statements. i guess its literally talking to the computer. i wonder who will ever stumble upon my blog, except my sis who might use my computer.
mahjong was not bad. 3 winners only 1 loser. haha. won $5 though. im still uber noob at it. but i guess im improving. haha. need to work on new strategies. haha. today is a sat night and im rotting it away at home. emo nemo. haha. i sense alot of weekend nights spent like this in the near future. totally not good. need to have some life and find some friends to go out with. but what to do, school environment has already forced me to have a small circle of friends.
im quite happy that im blogging more often now. *imaginary high five* at least i have something to do when im bored, or something to rant to when im feeling down, something to share to when im feeling happy. or of course to blog some retarded thought if i have something to share. most of them are emo and very mature statements. i guess its literally talking to the computer. i wonder who will ever stumble upon my blog, except my sis who might use my computer.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
First OG outing!
i realised i haven blogged about the very first OG outing we had last friday. shall do it now since im in the mood of blogging and nothing to do too. haha. we were supposed to meet at city hall mrt at 6pm but i was late. so marcus had to wait for me and it ended up with both us reaching at 615. sry to jiaqi and usha who had to wait for us. HAHA.. so we had to walk there from city hall and all of us not knowing the way we got a little lost. haha.. trying nt to rely on the iphone maps wasnt such a gd idea as we almost got lost but thanks to jiaqi who spotted the sign timbre we managed to turn back in another direction b4 we really got lost.
and so we reached timbre at about 630, queued for about 5 mins b4 we got a table. lucky for us we were early. 30 min later, the queue was crazily long and we were thankful that we were so much earlier. though we didnt get a gd spot at first, halfway through, we managed to change tables for a better spot. stupid timbre staff said that table was reserved and refused to change for us although the number of reserved tables is the same as the number of tables we had. but in the end, i think the ppl who reserved did not turn up and therefore we got their table!! :) with much better view and all. we had a 5-6 hour long HTHT (heart to heart talk) talking about alot of random stuff. haha. i was the 1 who was coming up with most of the topics, and usha was the 1 who was talking most of the time. mann she is good. she can keep going and going non-stop which was quite amazing. haha. i love asking questions cos this means i dont have to talk much.. :P i love listening to others and their stories, at the same time getting to know more about them. kenneth and jane were awfully quiet though, they look tired cos mayb they were early sleepers and it was bed time for them. I think at the whole table, only me and jiaqi were wide awake as we are used to sleeping at 3-5am. they weren't many instances of awkward silence which was quite surprising considering we only know each other for 4 days. Well, you always need some1 to come up with the topics which i did of course. to prevent these kind of situations. have to always brainstorm new topics to talk about. LOL. jiaqi and usha did help too! but the rest were jus awfully quiet.. zzzz.
the age gap between the guys and the girls wasnt apparent at all. mayb army was jus a 2-year freeze time in which all guys have to go through. in the end our session ended around 1230. haha.. most of us were feeling tired except for me and jiaqi. LOL.. so we all cabbed home and that was it. sadly we couldnt adjourn to somewhere else. Afterall it was already getting late and i think the girls cant go out till the wee hours. it was nice knowing what kind of guys the girls look for, and that girls like mature guys more than childish ones. haha. but i always feel maturity is all in the head and nothing to do with age. girls also look for confident guys, who are able to carry themselves, decisive guys who can make decision without saying anything(something i have to work a little on, i am quite an anything person) haha.. and of course guys who dont smoke. YES I TOTALLY DISLIKE SMOKERS TOO. luckily for me many ppl think the same way. i think smoking is a waste of life and money. i dun think its cool at all. if u wanna harm yourself by smoking by all means. but we passive smokers are suffering like hell too. breathing in all those toxic fumes isnt good at all.
oh another funny thing happened in the cab, the driver asked us why we go home so early, the night is still young. HAHA.. tell him we were tired and got stuff on tmr. then we he said sth like, nevermind, tmr still got time to chiong. HAHA. taxi drivers these days so hip, must be reliving their good ol days when they were young.
I think me and jiaqi click quite well. haha. we have been talking over whatsapp/msn till 4-5am for the past few nights. aye. dam relationships. it is so hard to tell if the other person feel the same way as you do. it really is hard. ive made the mistake b4 and i dun wanna make another 1 YET AGAIN. it really sucks. zzz. i think the only person who i've been rejected by and is now 1 of my best friends is lizhen. she confides in me sometimes with situations with her ex. haha.. although i am not 1 who she meets everyday or talks to everyday, the fact that she comes to me with these kind of sensitive issues is enough for me to deem that i am her best male friend. haha. went for her 21st bday party though i didnt know any1 there at all. im glad to have her as a friend. :)
ok im veering off topic already. the post shall end here. i think my nxt post will be a though about friends, 1 of our MSN conversations with me, my gay bro and my gd friend leslie. haha.
and so we reached timbre at about 630, queued for about 5 mins b4 we got a table. lucky for us we were early. 30 min later, the queue was crazily long and we were thankful that we were so much earlier. though we didnt get a gd spot at first, halfway through, we managed to change tables for a better spot. stupid timbre staff said that table was reserved and refused to change for us although the number of reserved tables is the same as the number of tables we had. but in the end, i think the ppl who reserved did not turn up and therefore we got their table!! :) with much better view and all. we had a 5-6 hour long HTHT (heart to heart talk) talking about alot of random stuff. haha. i was the 1 who was coming up with most of the topics, and usha was the 1 who was talking most of the time. mann she is good. she can keep going and going non-stop which was quite amazing. haha. i love asking questions cos this means i dont have to talk much.. :P i love listening to others and their stories, at the same time getting to know more about them. kenneth and jane were awfully quiet though, they look tired cos mayb they were early sleepers and it was bed time for them. I think at the whole table, only me and jiaqi were wide awake as we are used to sleeping at 3-5am. they weren't many instances of awkward silence which was quite surprising considering we only know each other for 4 days. Well, you always need some1 to come up with the topics which i did of course. to prevent these kind of situations. have to always brainstorm new topics to talk about. LOL. jiaqi and usha did help too! but the rest were jus awfully quiet.. zzzz.
the age gap between the guys and the girls wasnt apparent at all. mayb army was jus a 2-year freeze time in which all guys have to go through. in the end our session ended around 1230. haha.. most of us were feeling tired except for me and jiaqi. LOL.. so we all cabbed home and that was it. sadly we couldnt adjourn to somewhere else. Afterall it was already getting late and i think the girls cant go out till the wee hours. it was nice knowing what kind of guys the girls look for, and that girls like mature guys more than childish ones. haha. but i always feel maturity is all in the head and nothing to do with age. girls also look for confident guys, who are able to carry themselves, decisive guys who can make decision without saying anything(something i have to work a little on, i am quite an anything person) haha.. and of course guys who dont smoke. YES I TOTALLY DISLIKE SMOKERS TOO. luckily for me many ppl think the same way. i think smoking is a waste of life and money. i dun think its cool at all. if u wanna harm yourself by smoking by all means. but we passive smokers are suffering like hell too. breathing in all those toxic fumes isnt good at all.
oh another funny thing happened in the cab, the driver asked us why we go home so early, the night is still young. HAHA.. tell him we were tired and got stuff on tmr. then we he said sth like, nevermind, tmr still got time to chiong. HAHA. taxi drivers these days so hip, must be reliving their good ol days when they were young.
I think me and jiaqi click quite well. haha. we have been talking over whatsapp/msn till 4-5am for the past few nights. aye. dam relationships. it is so hard to tell if the other person feel the same way as you do. it really is hard. ive made the mistake b4 and i dun wanna make another 1 YET AGAIN. it really sucks. zzz. i think the only person who i've been rejected by and is now 1 of my best friends is lizhen. she confides in me sometimes with situations with her ex. haha.. although i am not 1 who she meets everyday or talks to everyday, the fact that she comes to me with these kind of sensitive issues is enough for me to deem that i am her best male friend. haha. went for her 21st bday party though i didnt know any1 there at all. im glad to have her as a friend. :)
ok im veering off topic already. the post shall end here. i think my nxt post will be a though about friends, 1 of our MSN conversations with me, my gay bro and my gd friend leslie. haha.
batam
the batam trip was quite an enjoyable 1. though i would most probably not go there again other then to cable ski. it's really quite a boring place, there's nothing much to shop also. the food isnt that great too. most of the stuff there u can find in singapore. most of the time we spent was in the hotel room, where we gambled like addicts.. LOL.. we played poker, blackjack, and in-between.. in between is a sick game. lol.. i was the big winner in the end where i won the $56 dollar pot. :P the whole night i had shit cards. but well it all boils down to having a good hand when it matters. my winnings came out to about $30 in the end. was down $15 earlier in the day so luckily i made up for it. First time playing in between was definitely an experience. the laughter we had at ppl hitting the goalpost was epic. Thinking about it now never fails to bring a smile to my face. it was really unforgettable. hahaha. i will definitely play this game again if i have the chance. Definitely more fun than poker too.
Cable ski was tough like hell. The kneeling board was quite fun though. At least all of us made it 1 round with the kneeling board except for da hui who wasted his whole day there. HAHA. but the standing up 1 was definitely more difficult. all of us were faceplanting into the water. it was hilarious i swear. especially da hui who kept having epic faceplants.. LOL.. by the end of the day, a few us could go at least half a round and some even made it half a round. The last part of the cable ski ended with 1 of my friends asking one of the female strangers who was cable skiing with us for her number. He was hesitant at first but as we were leaving i told him not to regret his decision, it is now or never. He turned back and with balls of steel asked her for her number in front of her friends. :) big balls indeed. LOL. i hope it turns out well for them. haha.
Yea that it is about it for the batam trip. There isnt really much to blog about cos we din really do anything besides gamble and cable ski. and for your information I AM NOT A GAMBLING ADDICT. :P
Cable ski was tough like hell. The kneeling board was quite fun though. At least all of us made it 1 round with the kneeling board except for da hui who wasted his whole day there. HAHA. but the standing up 1 was definitely more difficult. all of us were faceplanting into the water. it was hilarious i swear. especially da hui who kept having epic faceplants.. LOL.. by the end of the day, a few us could go at least half a round and some even made it half a round. The last part of the cable ski ended with 1 of my friends asking one of the female strangers who was cable skiing with us for her number. He was hesitant at first but as we were leaving i told him not to regret his decision, it is now or never. He turned back and with balls of steel asked her for her number in front of her friends. :) big balls indeed. LOL. i hope it turns out well for them. haha.
Yea that it is about it for the batam trip. There isnt really much to blog about cos we din really do anything besides gamble and cable ski. and for your information I AM NOT A GAMBLING ADDICT. :P
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